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24 April 2015

Daily Ambivalence - I think I'm cool because I use chopsticks

People look cool using chopsticks. Kind of like some people look cool when they smoke cigarettes.

Only when you use chopsticks you use two sticks and you use them to shove food in your face instead of cancer. And you don't light chopsticks on fire. That's another difference. When you get chopsticks at a restaurant they're usually rolled in paper, so that's a similarity. I suppose if you were a smoker and you had two cigarettes you could use them as chopsticks too.

Wow, I never thought of that but that would be unbelievably cool. I mean, picture Humphrey Bogart in a fancy restaurant with Ingrid Bergman and one minute he's smoking his fag and the next he's eating dim sung. That blows my mind how cool that would be.

Maybe I'll take up smoking. Sure it'll shorten my life and make my teeth yellow, not to mention my religious prohibition, but freakin' cigarette chopsticks!? Cigarette chopsticks!!??

I think I'm cool because I use chopsticks . . . eh