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25 March 2016

BvS opened yesterday

Went and saw Batman beat up Superman last night. Have to admit, the family was split, with me coming down on the plus side.

Coming down on the plus side really isn't hard for me these days. I've gained about 10 pounds since December. That coincides with me giving up desserts, candy, and sugar. Go figure.

I really don't understand the vehement critic hate spilling off Rotten Tomatoes. As I write this, Spoiled Fruit (or vegetable, depending on your view) has BvS at 29%. Now, I didn't think the movie was perfect, but 29% is south of turkey territory. 29% means - this movie sucks like Teen Witch only without good rap.

Can we kind of say that BvS is basically DC's second movie, with Man of Steel being the first? At least in the sense of this new age of movies that Marvel has created, starting with Iron Man. Follow that logic and Marvel's second movie was The Incredible Hulk, with Edward Norton. No home run there.

Or, you could say that DC's first entry into this arena was the amazing suckfest that was Green Lantern, which would then make BvS movie number three, and then you're comparing it to Marvel's Punisher: Ware Zone. Whoa, DC doesn't look so bad now, does it?

I think everybody is forgetting that Marvel has a big lead on DC, with almost 10 years firmly establishing their let's print money template. Iron man was great, but then we got the above-mentioned titles, then Iron Man 2, Thor, the first Captain America, and let's not forget  - Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. None of those were great. For me, BvS is better than any of them. Back in 2012 right before Avengers came out, I remember thinking that I would give Marvel a couple more tries, but they were wearing out their welcome.

I think I'm going to be a critic and say that critics suck. Sometimes, at least. This week, the nation's  critics, like a horde of shuffling zombies, jumped on a band wagon and got it wrong (yeah, I mixed the crap out of that metaphor). I hope people don't avoid the movie theaters as a result. They will miss:

  • Amy Adams in a bathtub where you as a viewer think, wait, can I see . . . no, hold it, is that her . . . no, I guess not.
  • Ben Affleck also throws his hat into the ring of who is the best Batman, and the answer, when all is said and done, might be him.
  • Gal Gadot, for all the pretentious alliteration in her name, has a stunning pair of . . . well, bracelets. You know, to deflect bullets and laser beams.


To be serious for a moment, this movie has made me think about it. And I'm not saying that is all positive. I've thought of plot holes I missed while in the theater, strange missteps that I still can't figure, but I am also liking it more right now than I did last night.

Critics. For shame! A pox on you! Not, you know, a pox that will kill you or anything. Just, maybe, something that will make it socially awkward to be in public this weekend. Yeah, that kind of pox.