Daily Ambivalence - if I had a Brummie accent

From what I hear, you have a Brummie accent if you come from Birmingham, which is a city somewhere in England.

I've always wanted to have an English accent because maybe then people would think I was smart or interesting. Trouble is, I hear if you're going to spontaneously adopt a new accent, Brummie is not a good choice.

Which is too bad because the word Brummie sounds so Brittsh and I like to say it with every bit of affectation available inside my mouth.

Brummie. Brummie. Brummie.

Imagine that the sound of my voice as I say this is a sweet mix of Charles Dickens' Oliver asking for more and Dick Van Dyke on his way to what should have been an Oscar nomination. That's what it sounds like when I say Brummie.

Top of the mornin', Govna. And all that rot. Excuse me while I pop on the tele and watch some BBC.

If I had a Brummie accent . . . eh.