Wattpad works

05 March 2014

Daily Ambivalence - gum disease

There's nothing funny about gum disease.

What I imagine when I see a line like that is a guy in a white lab coat with an office as background making this pronouncement as he stares at you through the television.

That's a freakin' smart tomato. Too bad it can read.
Which kind of makes me want to find something funny about gum disease.

Hormonal changes such as puberty typically correlate with the presence of gingivitis, and any mention of puberty seems fraught with comedy potential. There was that song called Puberty Love from the movie Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Total classic. My sister Stefanie used to fly into a rage anytime me or my brother John sang it to her.

But I'm an adult now. Puberty isn't that funny anymore.

I guess as hard as I try I just can't find anything funny about gum disease.

Gum disease . . . eh.