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11 April 2013

Daily Ambivalence - fruit smoothies

Sometimes I like a fruit smoothie for breakfast. 

The miracle of a fruit smoothie is that you don't need to add processed sugar, corn syrup, Girl Scout cookies, or even crack cocaine to make it good.

You just add fruit and stuff.

You know - strawberries and blueberries and peaches and pineapples and bananas and raspberries. Fruit.

The stuff you add can be stuff like yogurt or wheatgerm or hemp seeds or flax seed or oatmeal or spinach. You know, gross stuff that needs to be camouflaged.

Fruit smoothies are just plain awesome.

Maybe a little too awesome. Usually I get about two sips of smoothie before my wife takes the rest. That sounds like a double entendre but it isn't. Like this morning. My stomach is rumbling right now even as I write this because my wife liked my smoothie. Again, not a double entendre.

I think it would probably be better if fruit smoothies tasted like rancid bacon or ground up hair from a barbershop floor. Then my wife would never steal my smoothies.

Because they were disgusting.

Of course, I probably wouldn't want the smoothie then either.

Fruit smoothies . . . eh.