Wattpad works

15 April 2013

Daily Ambivalence - sticks with a ridged ball on one end that you dip in honey

Lots of times when you see honey displayed, like in conjunction with a flavored oat cereal or even  the earthenware pots favored by Winnie the Pooh, you will also see somewhere in the background a stick with a funny ball on one end. The ball part of the stick is apparently used to dip into the honey and then hold over something you wish to drizzle with yellow foodstuff.

I, uh . . . what?

I'm going to make up a story about the guy who invented what I am going to term - the honey stick.

One day, Mr. Charles Darwin was reading the funny papers over breakfast. His house servant came out of the kitchen with a bowl of honey for Mr. Charles Darwin's toast, but this was in the days before the spoon, knife, or fork had been invented. It was even before the days of chopsticks. Mr. Charles Darwin couldn't figure out a good way of transferring the honey from the bowl to his toast, so he ate the toast plain. This sent him into a flying rage and he killed the last ten dodo birds left in the world.

Later on, still before the inventors Henry Fork or Thomas Spoon had made their contributions to society, Mr. Charles Darwin invented the honey stick. He felt bad about causing yet another animal species extinction, and he liked the way the end of the stick kind of looked like a bee butt (later termed abdomen by yet another self-serving scientist named Victor von Abdomen).

Let me state this plainly. You should never use honey sticks. Ever. For one, a honey stick serves no useful purpose. For three, remember the dodo bird.

Sticks with a ridged ball on one end that you dip in honey . . . eh.