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17 April 2013

Daily Ambivalence - sympathetic weight gain in conjunction with a pregnancy

Some people think a man who blames his weight gain on a pregnant spouse is just making excuses. Not true.

I've gained some weight lately and my spouse hasn't been pregnant in over ten years. You would think that should count as evidence against my argument, but hold on - I do know people who are pregnant.

I have a sneaking suspicion that medical science won't back me up on this, but that is because more and more doctors nowadays are women, who by their nature are not sympathetic to the idea of sympathetic weight gain among men. I can hear them now, making unfair comparisons and pointing instead to a lack of exercise and bad eating habits as opposed to a surprise guest taking up residence in their uterus. This is patently unfair because a man doesn't have a uterus.

Isn't it obvious that a middle-aged man can't help it when weight gain rears its ugly head? You're just bound to know someone who's pregnant.

I could become a hermit, I suppose, live in the mountains. The problem is, I am deathly afraid of ticks.

Sympathetic weight gain in conjunction with a pregnancy . . . eh.