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27 February 2014

I like to pound my head against walls

Couldn't find a pertinent pic
so I chose this. I just really like
Brent Spiner.
Some people say that but they don't really mean it.

I have a friend who nods in agreement when I say I like to pound my head against walls, and maybe he does, but when it comes right down to it he usually chooses a softish kind of wall like sheet rock or plaster. I embrace the art of head pounding and use only cinderblock. Or, if sheet rock, only if it is wired to explode or shoot acid.

Case in point. I was talking to some writer friends, Jen Johansson and Renee Collins, and lamenting my woes in regards to queries and form rejections. They asked how many queries I had sent without getting a request for a partial and I told them around sixty for a particular book. They both said, without much hesitation, that my query probably sucked then. Even poor manuscripts will get a few look-sees, they said, if the query is good.

I know that. I mean, I know that, but in my head for the last few months my thought process has been the following: okay, the query might not be great (I really, really hate writing queries) but most of these agents ask for the first five or ten pages so no big deal. They'll be underwhelmed by the query but then get to my book and abruptly have a compunction to write A + A + A + on the nearest blackboard.

Jen and Renee voiced gentle disagreement over my reasoning. Renee actually punched me. In the face. Anyway, I'm used to banging my head against walls so the punch was no big whoop. I did agree to work on my query though. They even said they'd help me. Thanks, guys.