Daily Ambivalence - my tree in the front yard

Like most people I have a tree in my front yard.

At least, among people who have a front yard.

And a tree, of course. I mean, that's a given.

If you include those parameters then I feel confident when I say that most people have a tree in their front yard. Like me. In case you forgot, I have a tree in my front yard as well.

My wife doesn't like the tree in our front yard.

I'm not sure how common that is.

I suppose if you limit the original sampling to people who also have a wife then you could probably say "most" in that instance as well.

Women don't like trees.

If the trees are in the front yard.

My tree in the front yard . . . eh.

Daily Ambivalence - fragrant telegrams

People don't send telegrams anymore and you'd think that was mostly because someone invented telephones and then later Instagram.

Most people don't realize that Alexander Graham Bell was on the verge of inventing fragrant telegrams, which would have changed the world as we now know it. But then there was that tragic chlorine accident in his kitchen, changing the course of his inventing career.

Of such vagaries are the fates of nations decided.

Still, it's probably a good thing we don't communicate nowadays with fragrant telegrams. I just got back from a run and as I write this I suspect I smell like old socks.

Fragrant telegrams . . . eh.

Daily Ambivalence - my uncle's accordion

I actually have six uncles and to my knowledge none of them own an accordion.

Of course, that doesn’t rule out the possibility that one of them does own one. Or all of them, for that matter.

Maybe all of my uncles own accordions, and wouldn’t that make a great band? But there again, maybe my uncles already formed a band and they just never told me.

Uncle Robert, if you guys formed an accordion band and are touring soon please tell me. I would love to attend. I’ll even buy a ticket. I wouldn’t expect a freebie. I'm cool with that.

I’ll wait to hear back from you.

That is, if you even want me to come to your concert. Which it doesn’t make sense that you don’t because I’d be a paying customer.

What’s the deal? Did I offend you guys or something?

My uncle’s accordion . . . eh.

Daily Ambivalence - sharing earbuds

What if sharing earbuds was more than just an exchange of wax?

You know, like what if sharing earbuds was an exchange of essence, your essence, maybe even portions of your personality?

Like maybe one day I'm not a big fan of rodeos but the next day I'm listening to Hank Williams just because I was sitting next to a guy on the bus and the dude was wearing cowboy boots and a vest and I asked if I could borrow his earbuds.

Something to think about. A word of caution the next time you're riding a bus.

Sharing eabuds . . . eh.