Daily Ambivalence - killing time

I'm not one who normally agrees with most of the people but sometimes I do agree with some of the people.

Some of the people say that the English language leans a little heavy on the violent metaphors. I agree with those people.

Take killing time. I would be more comfortable if the saying was "framing time," like for murder. Not that I need to frame anybody for murder. I'm not saying that. Pending charges aside.

Anyways, I think framing time is a much better saying than killing time.

Killing time . . . eh.

Six Christmas Stories

My collection of Christmas stories is on sale for the next few days. $0.99.

That's one McSpicy without the sales tax.

There was that dream about fresh strawberries

There was that dream about fresh strawberries where Willie Wonka was going on about snozberries but whoever heard of a snozberry and I pretended to be Mike TV to get into the chocolate factory and it occurred to me that it wasn't likely that someone named TV should be such a freak about TV except that my friend Stevie Iphone likes to say "you can pry my iPhone from my cold dead hands" so maybe it isn't all that far-fetched and it made me sad because my name is Edwards not video game or gambling habit so there isn't much chance that my name will ever be descriptive of who I am unless someone invents something really cool and decides
to call it an edwards.

Which would be really great. I'm just saying.

Daily Ambivalence - bobbing for apples

So, uh, the kid holding the mirror
is naked too.

Back in the day, way before there were 7-11s, candy and sweets were sucky enough that when you played the game Bobbing for Apples and won, the prize was just the apple you had in your mouth. Even though, as a result of the game, the apple was now smeared with facial grease from the other people playing the game.

Kind of surprising when you consider how Rubenesque things were back then. Peter Paul Rubens is the dude you can thank for us knowing what Rubenesque means. No Peter Paul and Mary reference there, nor was he the inventor of the Ruben Sandwich. He was a painter and it is because of him that we know everyone was fat back then. When you say someone is Rubenesque nowadays it's a euphemism for sloppy fat.

Which, again, is just inconceivable because the stores back then didn't carry any good candy. Someone with a sweet tooth was relegated to their choice of Red Delicious or Jonagold. Or both. Dude, they must have been eating apples by the wagon load.

Bobbing for apples . . . eh.