Daily Ambivalence - Flat Earth Society

I once heard that the membership cards the Flat Earth Society hands out are round. That would seem a little self-contradictory, but the card is still flat so I suppose it's okay.

I wonder what you have to do to become a member? Probably isn't that easy. Think about it. Being a member of the Flat Earth Society puts you in a very exclusive club. In that there aren't very many members.

Are you a member of the Flat Earth Society? Of course not. Loser.

I've just got to get my hands on one of those round cards.

Or a donut. A donut would be sweet too.

Flat Earth Society . . . eh.

Daily Ambivalence - old black pen

This is about the pen that was replaced.

Which, if you had some way of reading the first draft of this post you would see I am writing using the new blue pen. Which is ironic and possibly even cruel if black pens have feelings.

Two questions spring from this; the first of course is whether black pens have feelings; the second and possibly more controversial one is if black pens have feelings, should I even care?

Back there in the corner, behind those one things

One could infer from this that I am prejudiced against black pens. Which is ridiculous. Pink, yes, and yellow, yes, but black pens deserve just as much consideration for inclusions into the Bic Pen Best in Show competition as blue ones. I'm on board with that.

To be honest, this year I'm pushing for the Silver No. 281. I even put money on it in Las Vegas. 7 to 1 odds. But if a black pen won I wouldn't throw a fit.

Yeah, nothing says the holidays like the Bic Pen Best in Show competition. I think the ESPN 2 Bold Twelve Pack is picking it up this year. Not sure if my cable has that one.

Old black pen . . . eh.

Audio of 2013 Christmas story

I am boldly going where hundreds of thousands have gone before.

Here is my first podcast, a reading of my Christmas story for this year. About seven years ago my wife suggested I write a Christmas story every year and then we could bind it and give it out as gifts to family and friends. There have been no book burning parties hosted by neighbors, so I am taking that as a positive thing.

From my family to you, Merry Christmas.

Daily Ambivalence - I brake for reindeer

If this were Death Race, how many points?

Not that I've ever seen one, but if there was a bumper sticker that said I Brake For Reindeer that would be pretty stupid.

Who wouldn't brake for reindeer? Have you seen those things? They're huge.

I guess the point of the bumper sticker would be Santa-based if it exists. You don't want to tick off Santa this time of year. But really, if Santa's going to refuse to bring me a present again this year because of a few indiscretions on my part, well, I can buy my own present.

That whole naughty list thing is a form of blackmail when you think about it.

I brake for reindeer . . . eh.