Daily Ambivalence - that guy with the guitar looks like Paul Simon

Well, I guess he only kind of looks like Paul Simon.

It probably isn't Paul Simon because even though it's been a while since Paul Simon released an album, I don't think Paul Simon would need to perform with a rhesus monkey on a sidewalk in San Antonio.

You remember that song about the boxer and how he stands in a clearing? It seems like the boxer is waiting for something and you would think it was probably his next opponent, but I've always thought he was probably waiting for one of his friends to bring him a Reuben sandwich.

I say Reuben sandwich because I hear Garfunkel was a total maniac when it came to Reuben sandwiches. Garfunkel used to perform with Paul Simon too. Not that I'm comparing Garfunkel to a rhesus monkey, but his name was Garfunkel so you can understand why Paul Simon kicked him out of the band and might now be performing in San Antonio.

If you remember, Garfunkel was kind of tall and skinny and those guys can usually really pack in the food. I've got a good recipe for Reuben sandwiches and my secret ingredient is that I add a little Pitzman's mustard.

One time I ate three whole Reuben sandwiches in one sitting. I'll bet Garfunkel could do four at least.

I wouldn't invite Paul Simon to the eating contest because he has that rhesus monkey to help him.

That guy with the guitar looks like Paul Simon . . . eh.